Balance your role with your soul.
Feminine Leadership: How to take control of your future without the need to control.
Let’s bust a myth.
Feminine energy isn’t weak nor is it submissive. So you can let go of the Devil Wears Prada alpha female act and release the reins (did your shoulders just drop?).
Feminine Leadership is leading with conscious impact. In a strategic, softer way that leads to lasting behavioural change. Defined by the 3 Pillars I teach that focus on impact over impulse.
- Emotional Intelligence
- Resilience
- Intuition
Emotional intelligence (EQ)
Benefits: heightened self-awareness, tame your triggers, self-regulation, healing and cathartic effects on the central nervous system, more compassion and empathy, less reactive, enhances critical thinking, elevates your vibration, improves relationships.
Resilience
Benefits: radical self-care, bouncing back, failing forward, courage, mitigate risk, growth and expansion, letting go of victim mentality, taking control.
Intuition
Benefits: cultivates deep self-trust, invites you to be visible and vulnerable, solid self-belief, steadfast, helps you make value-based decisions (the only kind that counts), eliminates second-guessing, breeds trust giving credibility and authority, less hustling, more trusting.
Which pillar do you need support in?
Emotional Intelligence
Leaders with high EQ have more empathy and understanding and make their team feel valued because they listen way more than they talk.
With compassion, you’re more understanding of others’ needs which creates a culture people want to be part of. While attracting like-minded partners and opportunities.
You challenge assumptions and your objectivity moves you from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset—from “all-knowing” to “always learning”.
High levels of EQ stretch your critical thinking capacity. As you learn to manage your inner landscape.
This was very apparent in the 17 years I spent working in legal. During some intense periods, heavy workloads and looming deadlines, where I was flying by the seat of my pants, all the while reading an array of personalities and assessing situations.
Intuition
Your True North.
As a CEO / leader, the buck stops with you. To make better choices and faster decisions (momentum loves speed) you can’t second guess yourself. And where’s the magic pill for that? Your intuition. Your sixth sense. It’s a muscle you can learn to strengthen just like you would lift weights in the gym.
When you tap into your intuition you make value-based decisions so there’s no room for regrets. It’s an instant time management hack. Because you’re operating from your values you create better boundaries, as you define your non-negotiables, so no analysis paralysis.
Listening to your intuition can feel wild and scary at times. Why? Because it takes a little bit of *crazy* to act boldly: to believe in yourself when others doubt you, to keep the faith without evidence, to take risks, and to step out of your comfort zone.
🔥It’s easy to trust your gut when you have a proven framework to lean on like the C.A.R.E.™ Plan. That helps you build unshakeable trust. When you trust yourself, your team trusts you.
My Business is None of Your Business
In business, you get a lot of advice whether solicited or unsolicited, from those who walk the talk and those who don’t.
I change my business strategy most days not because I’m scatty, but because I’m being guided to take a different route. At the end of the day, I only listen to one voice—that of my inner knowing. I do what feels right in my heart and learn to shut out the noise, which makes things easier to sort out.
90 MPH to Nowhere – From Burnout to Flow
The days I lived in my masculine energy…
High burnout way of doing life, work hard, play hard, everything in excess, all or nothing, success-driven Type A with bad habits and no energy management. The resistance to rest is real!
First bout of burnout hit me in my 30s.
Then 2016 was a pretty savage year following a series of events that sent me into a downward spiral. I couldn’t hold it together. So I got to “working on myself”.
Knowing that the universe had a plan and that my life did have a purpose. I started to build up my psychological capital using the four positive psychological constructs of hope, efficacy, resilience and optimism.
When I cleared the pressure to push and leaned into feminine practices everything changed. Peace fuels productivity! It’s not about working harder but smarter by managing your energy. Then, as always, time, space, and inspiration open up…allowing the impossible to be possible (I’m thinking about that to-do list of yours).
Taking care of yourself is essential not only for personal health but also for long-term professional success.
🔥those who invest in doing the inner work don’t feel the pressure in stressful times, because the stress doesn’t feel the same. They know what they’re capable of and don’t second guess it.
Learning The Language of Your Body
3 practices to access feminine energy:
- Meditation
- Breathwork
- Journaling
Meditation
When you practice meditation and breathwork consistently you become more mindful and less reactive. Because you’re focusing on your body, and not the trigger.
Meditation rewires the brain by reducing stress, enhancing emotional regulation, and improving focus and mental clarity through mindful awareness.
But it’s more than a practice; it’s a lens through which the world feels more balanced, your heart feels lighter, and each breath fills with positivity. It’s nurturing self-care that can make a profound difference in your life.
Meditation extends many areas of your life. I love it because it raises my abundance vibration which helps me manifest my goals a lot quicker.
Breathwork
The brainy benefits of breathing have been well documented. Did you know that deep breathing actually enhances brain function?
Studies have found that deep, slow breaths can improve focus and boost brain performance by increasing blood flow to the prefrontal cortex—your brain’s *CEO*. So give your brain a high five and it just might get rid of that overthinking. Longer exhales help lower cortisol (stress hormone) levels. That means less stress and more zen.
🔥A great coach (ahem) will ask great questions to help point your compass in the right direction. Sometimes those enquiries can feel a little raw. So when I see the look of panic come over my client, as we enter uncharted territory, we pause and breathe. This takes them out of flight, fight, freeze mode. It’s pointless to carry on until they are regulated. They appreciate how I hold the right space and allow the upgrades to happen.
🔥Try it in your next team meeting or when you’re conducting an annual review for when you hit those sticky moments. Instead of either side squirming awkwardly try breathing together and move from panic to power to dissolve the tension. A calm, controlled breath will have a bigger impact on your meeting as you create a connection. And your natural authority will emerge as you lead with presence.
My entry into breathwork was pretty brutal and savage. I took up the practice after hyperventilating at my dad’s funeral. The intense emotions sent me into a panic. Breath control is a total game-changer. It grounds you in the most testing of times.
The Power of Journaling to Advance Your Career
I was on a retreat last year in Bali where I met Wendy Warham for the first time. In one of the workshops, she shared how she journaled her way through her career.
Using journaling as a reflection exercise, she recognised her patterns, course corrected, learned from her experience and refined her leadership style which ultimately led her to where she is now—one of the top female leaders in a very male-dominated arena.
Fresh Attitude
These spiritual practices can help us heal, feed our soul and make things clear. The profound effect of doing these practices over the past eight years has saved my soul and my sanity.
When you tap into your internal resources (which are all free by the way) you move away from the need to depend so heavily on external coping mechanisms and being held captive in victim mode to self-regulation (being in control of your brain/body connection). That ultimately creates a sense of safety and security. Because we all want to feel safe and secure, don’t we? So the power is always in your hands.
I turned to Eastern philosophies to help me find balance in my life. In Chinese medicine, the balance of yin (being) and yang (doing) are opposite forces that are interconnected and are essential for harmony and health. But the majority of us are lopsided and lean more to the yang side which in turn affects our health—stress, anxiety and burnout.
And let’s take my 10-year yoga journey. In yogic philosophy, there are seven main chakras (subtle energy channels) with the third eye chakra associated with intuition. When this is open and flowing ideas just flow in. I experience this every day in my life and business. It’s like the dam broke loose and inspirations just floods in. I channel all sorts of goodness that benefit my community.
How to Read The Room Using The 3 Pillars
As an ENFP I’m all about the feels and bold moves making me the perfect coach to help you unlock your potential.
🔥”Koser shows up as the version of herself that you need”
This was the feedback I recently got from a client. One thing I am naturally great at is adapting. I can read people and intuitively meet them where they’re at. And it’s in these moments they have their biggest breakthroughs.
I always want to understand my client’s needs so that I can give my best self in the coaching or advice I give.
So it’s no coincidence that as an ENFP I became a high level coach. I strengthened my innate gifts by mastering the 3 Pillars of Feminine Leadership.
Above My Paygrade!
The advice that changed my life.
My leadership skills were spotted by a boss a long long time ago. Before he came along I was used to pushing myself but he pushed me further. He always wanted more, more, more (pure eye roll) until I got so frustrated I called him out. Why do you keep asking me to do more than what’s *expected* of me? He smiled “because you can do better”.
Oh ok, and off I strutted back to my cubicle with his words ringing in my ears. When he left I raised the bar even higher in every role I took on and every person I worked for. And here I am 20+ years later running my own business and all because I. DID. BETTER.
Minding My Mindset
The perception others have about us is always bigger than how we see ourselves. Where we might stay within our pay grade and play small (a form of self-sabotage) we need others to stretch our capacity and potential. That’s why it’s critical to have coaches, mentors, advisors, and cheerleaders who see a spark in you that could ignite a rocket.
🔥Mentoring others along the way, I have learnt a lot, my knowledge is deep and I’m still learning.
A moment of reflection can stretch into a lifetime of wisdom. Just like those five words, he said to me all those years ago.
Showstopper Skill
Charisma…
…aka gravitas and executive presence.
Which is essentially the art of being influential, impactful, likeable and magnetic. How to be rare, unique and authentic. And stand out in a world where everyone’s trying to fit in.
Charisma is the new confidence. Because true confidence is felt, not just heard. You have to have the courage to be authentically rebellious if you want to do great things.
A Whole Lotta of Gravitas!
I witnessed a lot of gravitas at the Karren Brady Women in Business and Tech Expo and the UK Black Business Show and the power of charisma.
These female powerhouses and industry titans weren’t reading from polished scripts they spoke from the heart, raw ‘n real creating a true connection with the audience.
🔥Listening to these women reminded me of something I recently read: you don’t need to be 100% ready, just 10% braver than yesterday, by following through with your actions. Because actions teach, words don’t.
🔥Just think by the end of the week you’d be 70% braver, and what could you accomplish if you were 70% braver? My company motto is built on this premise: She Who Dares Win.
When you are comfortable on your path, it doesn’t matter where it leads. You only have to be right and true with your vision.
🔥And the best part of being authentic? You will delight some and disturb others, and none of it will concern the truth of who you are.
Being authentically rebellious is so fetch!
🔥“Don’t adapt to the energy in the room. Influence the energy in the room” – Unknown
From Uncertain to Unstoppable: Take Your Leadership to The Next Level With The VIP Experience
Creating memorable experiences for my clients that creates a lasting emotional impact is one of my highest values. This is not just coaching, it’s an immersion.
🔥If there’s one thing I really shine at it’s taking already successful women and unlocking new levels of success for them by levelling up their beliefs, skills and strategy.
🔥Take Suzy for instance…
“I enjoy the balance of intuitive and clear feminine leadership that Koser provides. She can read what you need at any given moment. If you are tired of crushing it and forcing outcomes and goals, working with Koser will support you in finding your own rhythm and truth.”
New levels means you have to fight new devils. What does next-level success look like for you?
- What beliefs would make that possible?
- What skills would make it happen?
- What strategy would take you there?
If you want help dialling in all three of these areas, reach out—it’s definitely worth a chat.
My inbox is always open. Email me at hellokoser@lifelesscomplex.com.
Fiercely Independent. Female-Founded. Damn Right.
As a coach I’m always upskilling and what better way to learn than from trailblazing female entrepreneurs! The likes of:
Ruby Raut, founder of WUKA who have recently introduced their menopause range of underwear designed to keep you 2.5 degrees cooler (what a light bulb invention, right?!) The periods end then it’s the onslaught of menopause, the relentless gift that keeps on giving, but I digress.
“The Rise of The Female Leader transformative and the impact is phenomenal”—Shaa Wasmund’s annual RISE event. Where you go to build empires, shatter glass ceilings, redress the gender imbalance in leadership, and rewrite the rules of business. How’s that for a punchline! This one is on my business wish list for 2025 (I secretly want to build an empire shhh) so I need to be in THAT room.
The nuggets she shares in her newsletter have streamlined my thought process and improved my strategic thinking skills.
And then there was the panel discussion led by the DTI on How Female Led Businesses are Soaring and Scaling to International Success at the Karren Brady Women in Business & Tech Expo last month.
Girl, I’m all fired up! 🔥
I’ve given you lots of examples of Feminine Leadership so now that you have all this information what will you do with it?
Feeling Stuck, Bored, Hit a Plateau?
The VIP Experience is here to help.
Building Winners
Focusing on the use of soft emotions and hard facts is the key to the success of my client’s breakthroughs and results.
Instead of only focusing on skillset and IQ they focus on embodiment and EQ by implementing D.I.V.A.™—the psychometric assessment I created. That can turn ordinary leaders into extraordinary ones.
Through the assessment, you become clearer on who you are. Meaning life gets so much easier. Because even when it feels hard. You have a framework and a foundation you can lean back onto. And that framework is what I teach inside the VIP experience that shifts your beliefs so you can step into your full potential. Bring your biggest challenges and we’ll remove them.
🔥I’m not in the business of convincing you of what you’re capable of; I’m in the business of showing you how to unlock what you already know deep down.
We’ll dive into what’s possible for you and your career, and I’ll help you see the path ahead.
1. I’ll give you a plan so you know what to focus on.
2. I’ll give you all the support that you need so that you don’t get stuck.
3. I’ll hold you to a higher standard than you hold yourself to.
The VIP Experience is such an amazing container especially based on how far you’re going to go and how easy things are going to get when you’re immersed in that great headspace.
You don’t work at it, you have fun with it. So if you want to play with me for the love of chocolate sign up.
And at the very least I hope you choose to immerse yourself in a new way of being where you constantly get to upgrade your experience in life and you have a lot of fun in doing it!
I’ve made Feminine Leadership my life’s work. There are so many nuances, nooks, peaks, valleys and more layers than an English trifle that it’s a labyrinth of leadership learning. Sometimes we have to underthink, unlearn, undo, unpick and start again with a virgin mind touched for the very first time (cue Madonna).
I’m not selling coaching. You’re buying certainty and it starts with a Career Discovery Call. Message me or email me at hellokoser@lifelesscomplex.com.
Helping high-performing humans find inner calm so they can harness their ambitions without burning out.
