😡So I got into a bit of a barney with a relative at the weekend…and while I was venting to a friend…
…I was reminded of The Importance of Listening to Other’s Viewpoints.
However painful it can feel, it’s almost necessary for your growth and expansion
🧠You Will Learn Something New
When you take the time to listen to someone else and their viewpoints, you are exposed to thoughts that don’t exist in your mind and perspectives you may not have considered before.
🙏Listening Helps You Develop Patience
Being able to sit there and listen to someone you don’t agree with is difficult AF. So instead focus on listening to learn something new. You can listen with the intent to ask questions. Not only that, it will help you hone your EQ skills.
❤You Expand Your Network
People love when others listen to what they have to say, it makes them feel important. When you take the time to listen to someone else, even though you may not agree with what they are saying, you make that person feel better about themselves. And this can help create community and connection.
😠Why Were You Triggered?
Did they break a rule you have for yourself? Did they stamp on your values?
The following is adapted from something I once heard.
Imagine X, who did this thing, can you imagine, like, what kind of a person X is to do this thing you’re telling me about a rule that you have for yourself.
People tell you about themselves every single day. So as soon as someone starts telling me a story about someone else and what they’ve done, I sit up and I pay attention because that person is telling me about themselves.
And if you actually reframe it in your mind and change what they’re saying from X did this or X did that, to when I do this, or when I do that, it helps you to understand how the person thinks and feels. I call it compassionate clarity. Because basically we’re all just mirrors of each other.
Anytime you tell me about something someone did that you loved, you’re telling me about a part of yourself that you love. Anytime you tell me about something that was bad, you’re telling me about a rule that you have, and this person broke this rule, and that’s bad.
So people will tell you everything about themselves, they will literally give you the entire map of their belief structure, just in what they say and it’s always when you talk about other people.
5 Pointers to Becoming A Better Listener
- Listen to understand before forming an opinion, you do not necessarily have to agree with them.
- Pay attention to the words they are using.
- Do you see yourself in them?
- Work on your emotional intelligence (EQ) skills.
- Try to look at their point of view and ask yourself if they might be the person who is right (ouch).
If you want to increase your level of EQ with some mindset coaching drop me an email my inbox is always open hellokoser@lifelesscomplex.com
